you also lose your purpose.
***
When you know what you are born to do,
nothing or no one in heaven nor on earth,
can ever stop you from achieving it...
except yourself.
***
The source of identity is Him.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Windows
"Open the door, Lord that is for me! And close the doors that are not for me!", I was praying in the jeepney. Suddenly after i uttered those,
naa sa su-uk nga dalan, nakakita ku'g signage:
WINDOWS OF HEAVEN
Market
***naa padiay pwde sudlan sa? dili rah pultahan.
nangutana nahinu-un ku unsa ni nga panghitabu-a...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
When I Love.
When I Love.
When I Love.
I was in a group of single moms just trying to know other people’s thoughts about love. Eventually, one of them said, “ Who knows what love really is. Sometimes, it’s hard to know”. For people who know me better, they know that my favorite, undying topic is Love. Looking back, I realized sitting in that group, confused. Love is defined by philosophers, theologists , psychologists, etc….even variously defined by culture.
Because of this mad confusion fed to us by love songs and googoo movies, people became mad themselves about love. Sometimes, defending being so possessive by a spouse as love…or killing themselves because their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/live in partner has abandoned them. In this case, Love is lethal. A poisonous addiction.
Yet, we all know we need Love. Love makes the world go round. It puts a smile on our faces when we see the person we love. At the same time, Love makes us feel good, right?
Love is a complex issue. Honestly, it’s true that it’s never easily defined.
I don’t confess to know about Love completely, but I’ll try to reduce some confusion about True Love by what I know now. Since, I’m trying to understand the love of God (which is better yet experienced), I would like to share what Love is and what it is not to the best of my knowledge.
1. Love entails SACRIFICE.
The Father in Heaven did not just give any offerings for the redemption of His people.To demonstrate his Love, He gave no less than His best—His most beloved son.
Some women justify the cheap gifts from their rich boyfriends, saying their boyfriends are just thrifty…blablabla. Thing is, it’s not really about the price of the gift. But it’s how willing he is to pay the price for what you want.
2. Love does NOT FORCE its way. It always gives FREEDOM.
I have been asked this question, “Why didn’t God just give us all a will to do His will all the time?” Then I responded,” And, would you want to act as a robot?” When God said, “ Choose Life. ( Deuteronomy 30:19), God had given us the right to choose. In His Love, He did not create us to be His robots. He longed that we would choose to love Him instead of forcing His way to us.
It’s funny to hear those marriage jokes. There are so many of them passed in text messages. Usually, it talks about getting choked when you are already married. In Love, you are making the person do what he needs to do. It’s never controlling. And if he chooses to do the right things that make you happy, then he has chosen to show that love to you.
3. Love DOES NOT KEEP record of wrongs.
The prodigal son arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring[b] out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry. (Luke 11: 20-24)
The father shut him off with his kisses. He could have said “ What did you do? You left and now you’re here?!! Ha!” So typical of us to remind the people we fight with all their mistakes. As if we are perfect and never make mistakes.
4. Love is an ACTION or a DEMONSTRATION.
God did not just say he loved us (though he did say he did), but he made it real by his demonstration. He opened His arms and let the people nail and pierce his wrists with large nails as surrender for us all. It was finished by His death. He did that for the redemption of mankind.
I know better. I have lists of people who have said they loved me, but what made it fake was their lack of respect toward me, abusing words, and absence of care. Words are of no sense until it became flesh and real.
5. Love is UNCONDITIONAL.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ( Romans 5:8 )
God so loved the World that He gave … It did NOT say, He loved the lovable.Itsaid, “the World”.
If we are honest enough, most of the time, we love only those who are lovable. As a young child, we have been taught of the reward system. If you did well at school, you would be given your favorite stuff, but if not, you would not be given anything. Love does not require anything like a return. It is like a gift. You don’t have to pay for a gift.
We want to be loved by people who do not require any pressure for us to be good and wonderful enough for them to love us. But, there is better than that.It is to go ahead and love others without too much of a demand from them to be pleasing enough for us.
Go ahead!
LOVE!
It’s free.
It’s liberating.
This is a reminder that love does not end even though the love month ends this day.~~~4 Responses to “When I Love.”
Sunday, August 8, 2010
THOUGHTS ON BEING A WOMAN ( brief and localized )
Sunday. Yesterday's events:
1. A Married male friend already confessed he liked my female friend, amidst all my rebuke: "di ku ganahan imu nan'g buhatun.take time, but don't do things that are not well-though-of."
2. Had trouble finding an outfit for church ( okay, this would account for something hehe...tell you later )
3. When I was in the prayer room, worshiping using the guitar and praying, a group of young women and senior women went there. I was caught off-handed to lead the worship ( came very unprepared I was. I was asked what song I knew ...uhm, I had never played the guitar for a long time, and that in my mind by far since my hiatus, I only learned 2 songs which were not that popular; hence, hard for them to know the lyrics ) Thank God, I managed to lead them to free worship hehe ( my abstract art excuse for lack of knowledge hehe but by far cool since it was spontaneous )
4. Not only was I to lead the worship, I had to speak words to them ( again, unprepared, or something...i was asking Guidance...while covering my a bit nervous feeling with big grins).
5. Finally able to deliver God's word to the women from the ages12 to 21. The Spirit of discernment helped me to utter words that I would not even know for myself.
6. Went to watch Eigasai ( alone) for a Japanese film about a family in Ayala.
7. After watching, I of course had to pass Terraces before I could go to the terminal. A Group of young adults, who looked handsome and rich, was trying to greet me or something which made me think they could have thought I was one of the few women there..nga ga prosti2x sa Ayala( amidst my formal attire * black blazer, and a knee to below knee length dress*...(*Many women who are so beautiful and look "professional", even, prostitute themselves. on those hours in Ayala )
***
Women women women! If you want to know about some issues of women that are seemingly subtle, I had them realized yesterday. Here they are:
1. Being A Wife of a not loyal husband. Even just having his heart beat for someone else is a pain. She could ask herself what else he needs, or what she lacks. Insecurity then comes in.
2. Being liked by a married man. this, too, can make a woman feel awful.
2. Finding an outfit can be stressful. dapat dili ka seductive tan-awn. para sad dili sundun ug tan-aw imung dughan or paa, or unsa pah. dapat pud, mu-angay sa imung edad, dili rka murag teenager. For men, this would not be equally as hard as for women.
3. Being a daughter of a father who has a mistress. When you are young, you would have asked your mom to take care of you. But what if your mom is so far away?
4. The worth of a woman is so defined by their shape and look, then skills. For the younger women, no one would crush them if they're fat or not white, etc. Women can also be defined by their intelligence or lack of it.
5. A mother. It's hard to work hard, especially if you're a single mom, then your child simply squanders your hard earned money.
6. It becomes so hard to be single, and available. Good thing, the gentleman God and Father can be with you, and will go before you.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Which Level of Relationship Do You Have? < the Dorisian Theory >
disclaimer: I am not an expert in relationships, nor do i have a degree on BS - Relationship Studies. You may believe what I think, or not. I just think that this has helped me a lot with my different relationships with people, and have prevented me unnecessary pains brought by people who have come in my life.
In addition, I really do not know if studies on the leveling of relationships have already been made. or anything like this view has already been studied.
My own leveling of relationship can help people ( according to my theory (or not my theory..ambut kung naa na'y naka una ) ) on how they should react to a certain type of relationship.
This has arose when a friend of mine asked me about my relationship with a "lover". She asked, "So, what level of commitment do you have? ". I was 21 at that time. Young and very consumed with the idea of "being in love", and "being loved", I thought, "is there such a thing as a "level of commitment"? And if so, what were the things I should do and not do when I were in that level...?
"Relationship", according to Merriam Webster, is the state of being related or connected.
So, for the sake of this, uhm, Dorisian theory, we'll use that definition.
okay, enough of the intro.here are the different types of relationships, numbered by their levels ( 1/Level 1( the lowest level) , and 10/ level 10 ( the highest level) :
1. I-Know-Him
You go to the same school. So, you know him.
You read the book he's written, so you think you know him. You are just a fan. He knows your face, but doesn't really know your name.
The most shallow.
2. He-Knows-Whom-I-Know
So your friend introduces him. He is known by your friend, so you think you also know him. Your friend likes him, so you think you'll also like him. Your friend says he is very smart, good, etc...so you believe your friend.
3. Kilig Kilig Relationship
Whenever you feel physically attracted to someone, or vice versa, you think your hormones and heart are one. so, because you're kilig, whatever he says, does,...you have become his slave. when he says, he loves you, 90 to 100 percent of the time you believe him. you shut your screaming brain off. he does not know what makes you happy or that your favorite color is black. he doesn't even know your middle name. in short, he does not care about you, as long as he feels some form of a hype feeling /kilig in him ( now we know what it's called...some call it, "libido" ) that you can give him.
some would even give their virginity for this cheap kind of relationship.
4. Common Interest Partner
You go to the same club, organization, school, or church. He knows your name.
you go to the same book club. you realize he also reads Jessica Zafra books, and memorizes Jessica Zafra lines. you then think you're a match. uhm, mostly wrong.
5. Virtual friend/lover
So he comments/likes your status/photos/notes/links, etc on facebook. He looks cool on the photos. He is decent, you can see. His friends are great people. His family seems nice.
He texts you everyday, or calls you.
He chats you on the messenger or facebook. night and day, forever (duh).
All you know about him is his words on your cell phone or facebook or etc., or photos uploaded by him.
Virtual relationships do not work ( if they remain virtual for a long time ) for lovers. Most of the time, words in facebooks or cell phones are too much calculated. Better see them personally to see how they react. There are still gestures, tones of voices you ought to consider. He must personally see your family, friends, etc. and experience the people in your life personally, and vice versa.
6. Long Distance Relationship
The title speaks for itself. Long. Distance. This COULD work for those who have known each other for a long time and have engaged each other personally before the physical separation happens( But even then there's no guarantee ). However, for those people who have just gotten to know each other, there is just a very slim chance. getting to know each other stage then distant? nah, i don't think so.
7. Blood Relationship
Well, you share the same DNA. studies show that even personalities of people are greatly affected by their DNA ( eg, a criminal parent produces a criminal child...there's even called a "criminal gene" ). you may hate your parents, but admit it, you even share the same jargons and melody of speech. and yes, blood is thicker than water.
8. Spiritual Accountability Partners
This includes both of you being intimate with God together. If you learn to pray together and for each other, you'll soon realize, not only your spirits connect with God, but your spirits connect with each other.
9. Husband - Wife Relationship
You live in the same house, share the same bed, food, TV ( and TV shows ), toothpaste, and even, soap. most especially you unite yourself physically and are the parents of another human being you both produce. you have joint accounts, and you have joint problems as well.
10. Creator-Created Relationship
A created will learn to be transparent to his Creator-- who knows what he thinks and feels, his past, present, and future, and the words he is about to say even before he speaks them. In a capsule, this is the highest form of relationship coz this intimacy knows no bound. no time, nor space, nor circumstance, nor wrongdoing (or rightdoing) can separate this love relationship.
In addition, I really do not know if studies on the leveling of relationships have already been made. or anything like this view has already been studied.
My own leveling of relationship can help people ( according to my theory (or not my theory..ambut kung naa na'y naka una ) ) on how they should react to a certain type of relationship.
This has arose when a friend of mine asked me about my relationship with a "lover". She asked, "So, what level of commitment do you have? ". I was 21 at that time. Young and very consumed with the idea of "being in love", and "being loved", I thought, "is there such a thing as a "level of commitment"? And if so, what were the things I should do and not do when I were in that level...?
"Relationship", according to Merriam Webster, is the state of being related or connected.
So, for the sake of this, uhm, Dorisian theory, we'll use that definition.
okay, enough of the intro.here are the different types of relationships, numbered by their levels ( 1/Level 1( the lowest level) , and 10/ level 10 ( the highest level) :
1. I-Know-Him
You go to the same school. So, you know him.
You read the book he's written, so you think you know him. You are just a fan. He knows your face, but doesn't really know your name.
The most shallow.
2. He-Knows-Whom-I-Know
So your friend introduces him. He is known by your friend, so you think you also know him. Your friend likes him, so you think you'll also like him. Your friend says he is very smart, good, etc...so you believe your friend.
3. Kilig Kilig Relationship
Whenever you feel physically attracted to someone, or vice versa, you think your hormones and heart are one. so, because you're kilig, whatever he says, does,...you have become his slave. when he says, he loves you, 90 to 100 percent of the time you believe him. you shut your screaming brain off. he does not know what makes you happy or that your favorite color is black. he doesn't even know your middle name. in short, he does not care about you, as long as he feels some form of a hype feeling /kilig in him ( now we know what it's called...some call it, "libido" ) that you can give him.
some would even give their virginity for this cheap kind of relationship.
4. Common Interest Partner
You go to the same club, organization, school, or church. He knows your name.
you go to the same book club. you realize he also reads Jessica Zafra books, and memorizes Jessica Zafra lines. you then think you're a match. uhm, mostly wrong.
5. Virtual friend/lover
So he comments/likes your status/photos/notes/links, etc on facebook. He looks cool on the photos. He is decent, you can see. His friends are great people. His family seems nice.
He texts you everyday, or calls you.
He chats you on the messenger or facebook. night and day, forever (duh).
All you know about him is his words on your cell phone or facebook or etc., or photos uploaded by him.
Virtual relationships do not work ( if they remain virtual for a long time ) for lovers. Most of the time, words in facebooks or cell phones are too much calculated. Better see them personally to see how they react. There are still gestures, tones of voices you ought to consider. He must personally see your family, friends, etc. and experience the people in your life personally, and vice versa.
6. Long Distance Relationship
The title speaks for itself. Long. Distance. This COULD work for those who have known each other for a long time and have engaged each other personally before the physical separation happens( But even then there's no guarantee ). However, for those people who have just gotten to know each other, there is just a very slim chance. getting to know each other stage then distant? nah, i don't think so.
7. Blood Relationship
Well, you share the same DNA. studies show that even personalities of people are greatly affected by their DNA ( eg, a criminal parent produces a criminal child...there's even called a "criminal gene" ). you may hate your parents, but admit it, you even share the same jargons and melody of speech. and yes, blood is thicker than water.
8. Spiritual Accountability Partners
This includes both of you being intimate with God together. If you learn to pray together and for each other, you'll soon realize, not only your spirits connect with God, but your spirits connect with each other.
9. Husband - Wife Relationship
You live in the same house, share the same bed, food, TV ( and TV shows ), toothpaste, and even, soap. most especially you unite yourself physically and are the parents of another human being you both produce. you have joint accounts, and you have joint problems as well.
10. Creator-Created Relationship
A created will learn to be transparent to his Creator-- who knows what he thinks and feels, his past, present, and future, and the words he is about to say even before he speaks them. In a capsule, this is the highest form of relationship coz this intimacy knows no bound. no time, nor space, nor circumstance, nor wrongdoing (or rightdoing) can separate this love relationship.
Writing is Chaos
So, I've got some feedback with my last post. Yes, read the bossy title. The feedback would be mostly about how I was f*cked up ( forgive the language ). It did not give most people the good impression of me...magnifying my rant, instead of the conclusion. Ranting is human but putting things in the right perspective is divine.
The rant was not supposed to be the gist of it all.
Well,that was not the first time that a write-up of mine was misunderstood.
Only one friend understood the main thought. I guess one factor is the fact that she knows me, and she has read most of my writings. So for that, I thank her.
But for those who have, time and again, misunderstood my article, well, hehe...
In Literature, criticisms are various:
biographical, historical, cultural, formalistic, subjective...
So I completely understand that a person may interpret it, according to the formalistic approach, or what, or may be according to their own experiences.
If you know me, I make hyperbole, and sinister jokes...but they should not be taken or reflected as the way they are said. I meant them to be exaggerated.
As I was contesting whether or not I would write again...I still think That I will continue to write...until people would solve the puzzle. of what an article mean. or who i really am. ^^
The rant was not supposed to be the gist of it all.
Well,that was not the first time that a write-up of mine was misunderstood.
Only one friend understood the main thought. I guess one factor is the fact that she knows me, and she has read most of my writings. So for that, I thank her.
But for those who have, time and again, misunderstood my article, well, hehe...
In Literature, criticisms are various:
biographical, historical, cultural, formalistic, subjective...
So I completely understand that a person may interpret it, according to the formalistic approach, or what, or may be according to their own experiences.
If you know me, I make hyperbole, and sinister jokes...but they should not be taken or reflected as the way they are said. I meant them to be exaggerated.
As I was contesting whether or not I would write again...I still think That I will continue to write...until people would solve the puzzle. of what an article mean. or who i really am. ^^
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