MediOKAYty

Mediocrity. Ever since I was young, any sense of mediocrity in me as a person is tantamount to me being a senseless, useless person. My school project had to be clean. It had to get a 90 plus grade.
The opposite of a mediocre, according to my parents, and some people, is an “achiever”.

If you are an elementary student, you should be a “valedictorian” lest your parents will not go to your graduation. “If you perform onstage for a contest, you should be sure you’d get that trophy for THE Champion, or else, better not join the contest so as to save you from getting drowned in “shame”” , the advice of your parents.

Anything less than the best is something I should avoid. It should not be in my system. A person who is an achiever is someone who gains recognition by many. He is a famous celebrity.

But, famous I am not. I am jack of all trades master of none. I can be a nurse, a writer, a teacher, a speaker, an actress, a painter, a singer, a dancer, a pretty woman, an ordinary woman, a nice date/ conversationalist, or a person who bores you to death...yep, name them...I can be...but I can never be proud nor have the authority to say I am excellent in any one of these fields I have trudged in my life.

It’s sad. With these things being said, I can remember my suicidal classmate in college who dropped out of our freshman class, Miss J. She told me, “ I am not good at anything. I just want to jump out and die”. She would cut her wrist and do all these stupid stuff. But hey, don’t you get it? All of us struggle to be a master of at least one but not everyone can achieve that kind of desire.

And so, it has been inculcated in me that I should try harder to be someone brilliant, so I can have some form of meaning in life. Or, some form of a life lived that this generation or the next should benefit from. My name should be written in history books. My face should be seen somewhere, like printed on newspapers or on a billboard or tarpaulin.

*** Yet, I protest in this stupid rationale of being “an achiever”.

I don’t know, but. In life, we have ups and downs. We can never really win every competition we’re part of. When I was in elementary, I was the champion in two declamation contests, won two times in a school council election, and for the most part, won the titles, “best actress, best reporter” haha...( yes, CIC had a way of making me love talking and getting attention from a lot of people). However, I lost a few competitions myself, one in a P.R.O seat. And most sadly, I did not get to speak in my graduation for a “valedictory” speech because I was just the Top 6 among the 200 to 300 students.

More failures happened as I grew up. I met people who were more talented, smarter, or even physically attractive than I was. I know a lot of us know what I am talking about.

It’s just life. I don’t believe really that we have to compete among ourselves. We are simply unique.

***Back to being a “superstar”...
Countless of VERY beautiful and VERY handsome friends I have personally known get the turn of the heads of people as they pass by. And there, they get conscious.
When you are famous, you get a lot of criticism ( good or bad ). And sometimes, since people want to know you badly, they disturb your peace by investigating your personal life. Damn.

It’s the price one has to pay. I mean it’s not totally bad...after all, if you are famous, you also get the “bigger pay”, better respect, and rains of praises from people.

...On the other hand,
Sometimes,
Sacrificing fulfilment or real influence for a “name” is not worth it....
****
These thoughts emerged at the office of the President of Cebu Normal University ( CNU ) as I had been waiting for an hour now ( and another hour yesterday ) for our letter to be signed by no less than Dr. Lopez, the university president.
Ma**** Lopez, RN, Ed. D, DPA ( make that complete coz “he would like it”, a dean told me )...was our teacher before. In class, he would make jokes and stuff...He was teaching Psychiatric Nursing ( one of the hardest subjects, I’ d say ) He would tell us all the different stories of mentally ill patients. We would listen to him more than any other teacher because of his “scholastic achievements” and his repetitive bragging about his education in THE United States of America,” his country”.

After I graduated, I heard he got promoted to the highest position...

***
The secretary got out of his office and said, “your letter probably has not been signed yet and could still be on his table” as she was shuffling a bundle of papers that had just been signed by Dr. Lopez. Hmmm....I wonder, our letter could have been the 90th or 100th among the letters he had to sign.

**** Ma***** T. Lopez, RN, Ed. D, DPA...from a simple teacher to ...an official “signer”...er...university president.